(photo credit to netsrot)

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.  ~James Openheim

Like the Holy Grail, we’re all looking for it: happiness.  But as Benjamin Franklin said  “The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness.  You have to catch it yourself.”  Now, I am not an American citizen, but the point comes across anyways: if I want happiness I better go out and find it myself.

So, I am. And you can too.  And here’s the great thing, happiness lies in the simplest things, if you let yourself find it.

I thought, up until a couple weeks ago, that I was somehow lacking this happiness in my life.  That, maybe, I was missing something I had before I birthed.  You see, before I birthed, I lived this incredible life of spontaneous pursuit of happiness.  I had no responsibilities to anyone, no job and just traveled around soaking up the world.  It was very easy to find happiness in this state, because if I wasn’t happy I could just leave and find something that made me happy instead.

So, when I had a baby, I had to stay in one place and be happy.  And really, I was.  But I didn’t feel like it.

Two weeks ago, I remembered that I had, in fact, the entire time since my daughter was born, been very happy.  I had just forgotten.  Which is a seemingly strange thing to forget.

But now I remember, and remembering to be happy is really the key to being happy. Happiness is an emotion but it is also a practiced state of mind.

Here are some wonderful ways to cultivate happiness in your own life that allow you to appreciate the small things in life

1. Smile. This is definitely a practiced act.  When I am feeling pretty bad about something (say, my beautiful daughter just broke my sewing machine) I try to smile.  At first, it may seem contrived, but after a moment the smile catches into my consciousness and I start feeling happy.  I like to challenge myself to smile all the way through a load of dishes, or to every stranger I see on the street.  The feeling of smiling sends signals to your brain to let you know that you are happy.  So, if you don’t feel happy smile and trick yourself into it.

2. Forgive and move on. So that guy cut me off in traffic, or my bank charged me $20 extra for nothing, or my meal tasted awful or a stranger sneered at me.  So what? In the grand scheme of the entirety of existence was it really such a big thing? No.  So, I forgive and move on.  There is no sense spending my energy being angry about someone else’s actions, especially when most people act based purely on their own mythologies that have nothing to do with me.  So I move on to other things, like how beautiful the clouds look, or that beautiful peal of laughter from my daughter.

3. Stop complaining. But, oh is it fun!  Really, for some reason, we just all love getting together to talk about how bad things are.  I have placed a challenge on myself to not complain for one week.  Not at all.  Because when I focus on what is going wrong, I stop focusing on what is going right.  What about that butterfly?  or the fact that I got a bunch of new subscribers?  What about the fact that I have the absolute blessing to live in a peaceful country where most of my rights and freedoms aren’t violently denied?  Makes that bad tasting meal seem a lot less important.

4. Eat healthily. OK, so eating isn’t really what I would consider a small thing.  It’s what keeps us alive on Earth.  I love doing it and doing it well.  Eating healthily provides your brain with the nourishment and balance it needs in order to be happy.  When we feed our brains too much sugar, chemicals, caffeine, alcohol and foods devoid of any nutritional value (think McDonalds and Kraft) we no longer have the component vitamins, minerals and macro-nutrients to be happy.  So, eat an organic peach (they’re in season now) or some whole grains.  Try a pasture-fed burger instead of Wendy’s burger.  Your brain will thank you by helping your feel happier.

5. Sleep enough. I think the biggest problem, for me, after I birthed, in remembering to be happy was the fact that I really didn’t sleep for 26 months.  My daughter was not what you would call a “sleeper.”  20 minutes to two hours was the maximum she would sleep at a time until just after her second birthday.  It is really challenging to remember to be happy when your brain and body are craving sleep.  Get the 6-10 hours you need.  Find the time.  Be calm before bed so that you can sleep better.  Then, the small things in life will jump out at you and make you smile, not hidden under the covers of exhaustion.

For me, it is much more accessible to find happiness in the small things all around me, than to be jumping from the next great place to the next best thing.  Though that is certainly super fun, I find settling into the Truth of the Beauty all around me so satisfying.

What do you do to find happiness in the everyday?  I’d love to hear!

(photo credit to LB pics)

Last week, when I hilariously remembered the cosmic joke, I had been asking for guidance towards my Truth.  Asking questions like “Who am I, now that I have a child?” was one way that I was going about this process of discovery.

You see, part of me thought that I was actually someone completely different, that somehow, the Truth of my existence had somehow shifted.  Because my lifestyle had gone from traveling light worker to home-bound housewife, I figured that my Truth must’ve changed, for how else could I explain such different external conditions?

Well, the cosmic joke is nothing if not funny.  I realized that my Truth was always the same and that is “I am Love.”

Simple.  Perfect.  Seemingly obvious?

Maybe not.

Experiencing the power of love everywhere, through different life stages and challenges, takes some practice.  I would like to share with you some techniques I have found for seeing love in all things, including myself.

Practice active self care. Take a long bath, take yourself out for tea, rub your feet, take time for exercise, get enough sleep.  Do the things that nourish you and do it with Love.  While you’re caring for yourself, picture your heart filling with pure Love.

The attitude of gratitude. This may be old news, or it may be new.  Whatever the case, gratitude is key to Love.  Fill yourself with gratitude for who you are.  By focusing on self-care and gratitude for self, we then have more resources available to offer love and gratitude for all.

Laugh more. I had a great yoga teacher once who, while in our fifth minute of hold pigeon pose, that said “now, everyone laugh.”  Laughter really is the best medicine.  Even if you don’t feel like it, force a laugh, force a smile and see whether you can lighten your mood and open to Love.

Be vulnerable. This is a tricky one, but absolutely necessary to be fully in Love.  By letting ourselves be vulnerable and opening our hearts to the world, we allow more love to come in.  We allow new and expansive experiences to arise.  We may get hurt but “tis better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all” as dear Alfred Lord Tennyson says.

Actively Love. When you tell someone you love them, when you see something beautiful, take the time to consciously fill your heart and fully experience the Love that you are beholding.

The conscious practice of these five things can really help in experiencing Love everywhere.

As a side note, I am leaving for a week to visit family in Wisconsin, so I will not be online until the 8th.

And, as a little hint, this post has something to do with the new blog format.  Can you guess what it will be?

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says “make me one with everything!”

That’s not the best joke ever, but I sure find it funny.

The best joke ever, I would have to say, is The Cosmic Joke.  You know that one?  The one where the Universe in its current manifestation is absolute Divine perfection.  It’s a good one.

The reason why this is pertinent to me, and this blog specifically is because I finally remembered it last night.

In a funny turn of events, since I birthed, I realized that I had been telling myself a lot of lies.  Things like “You can’t do it.” or “there’s something wrong with your life” or “you have forgotten who you really are.”  Which, to my great pleasure, has finally stopped.  And, instead of being upset that it ever happened, the Universe let me in on a little joke: this was all perfect.

LOL!

Good one, Universe.

So, having lived these lies for the last couple of years, I thought I was striving for meaning and magic.  I thought that I didn’t have it in my life already, so I needed to search for it.  I needed to strive to have it every moment, in ways that were more and more creative.  All of these things are great! I love what I learned on this journey.  But I also learned that it was based on a big lie I was telling myself: My life is not meaningful or magical currently.

WHAT!?

Not true, not at all. My life is incredibly magical and meaningful, all the time.  It always has been.  When I had a baby, it never stopped being this way, I just started lying to myself about it. How funny is that?

I started this blog because I wanted to start a writing career, and I thought this blog would be a fun place to explore and create and expand and generally get writing on a regular basis for an audience.  Having recently come into the blogging world I started reading everything I could about becoming known in the blogosphere.  I thought I had come upon the secret formula that would create success in my life.

And really, I did.  I just didn’t happen to be in the realms of what was being shown to me.  I read, again and again, about finding your unique voice and speaking it clearly.  I thought I could just be the unique voice like all the rest.

I thought that I would put poetry to the side, after all, poetry does not overtly solve someone’s problems.  Instead I would write articles that were helpful to people.  That I would solve problems that other people had. That somehow, this would accomplish me becoming known as a poet and distinguished author of fiction.

HA!

I’m done with that now.  Thanks for sticking around for the show of my attempts at normalizing myself, I’m sure it was a great performance to those of you who know me.  I’ll be around after this post for comments and questions and handshakes.  Thank you.

Phew!  Now that that is over and done with, I am ready to take my writing career to where I actually want, and do it in a way that is not formulaic, nor self-indulgent, nor is it in any way lying to myself.  HOORAY!

So, what does that mean for the blog?  (This is a good one… wait for it!)  Another change!  Yup.

However, I feel that this will be the last change, because it actually feels like my Truth.  I feel really settled in it.  I don’t feel panicked or like I am striving for something that I can’t attain because that is not my personality.  I am going to Be Me and that is going to be amazing.

And, just for the laughs, I’m not going to let you in on what the blog is about until it is launched.

In the meantime, I will continue updating this blog, with tidbits of information I find useful and all that stuff.  Have to keep the writing going, after all.

Thank you readers for all your patience with me.  For following along on this funny journey of Life.

(photo credit to Lou O’Bedlam)

I’ve decided to take a digital sabbatical every Monday and Tuesday.  I picked these days because on the weekends, little A’s dad does most of the parenting, so I can take more time to get things done.  Monday and Tuesday she’s back with me all day long and I want to spend the time really being with her.

But why take time away from this exciting and beautiful online world? Why keep the computer off?

I recently ran into this wonderful article, thanks to Tammy Strobel over at Rowdy Kittens.  The article is a summary of a neurologic experiment that was performed by a few scientists who all decided to take a week away from technology and document their experience of it.

The results, not surprisingly, were that, after three days, all of the people involved experienced a shift.  They started sleeping better, they took their time more and they felt a general sense of ease.

Can you relate to this in your life?  I was finding that, while I was concentrating on getting my blog off to a great start I was spending more time online than I felt comfortable with.  I was feeling obliged to check my blog, your blogs, email and twitter too many times a day.  It was taking over my attention.  It was taking away from the true feeling of meaning.

What I really wanted to be doing, finding meaning and magic in my life, was fading the background, even after only a couple of weeks.  I do not want to get into this sort of pattern, so I am deciding to unplug from the internet two days a week.

It is important to unplug so that we can maintain perspective on our lives, our businesses (especially if they are primarily online) and our relationships.  We can get so caught up in the excessive information, the abundance of connections to be made and maintenance of online friendships.   Though all of these things are important, balance is key to keeping a low-stress, high satisfaction life.

Unplugging can bring lots of wonderful benefits.

You will be able to spend more time appreciating your real life. I spent a lot of time with little A, walked a lot and spent time with a beautiful friend I haven’t seen in a couple of weeks.

You can catch up on real-life projects that you have been putting off. For me, I started some more ferments, cleaned off part of a storage unit I’ve been putting off and got to spend some quality time in my garden.

You will feel more relaxed. Honestly, Monday, I did not feel relaxed.  I kept thinking “what if I get a really important email?” It was interesting to just watch how my brain was working.  By yesterday, I felt a lot more relaxed about the whole thing, and though I was online a little bit, I realized that having two days is really important for the relaxation effect.  It reminded me to slow down, feel OK about my pace in life and be able to put more sustainable effort into this blog and my writing in general.

You may experience more creativity. I found that with the constant onslaught of information gone I was able to get in touch with my creativity more.  I wrote a poem and a couple of songs on the guitar.  I played lots of music, created balloon friends with little A and danced.

It is good to just start.  Some people unplug for a month, a week or even every weekend.  Maybe a whole month sounds too overwhelming, so start with a weekend and notice the difference.  Even just choosing to spend less time on the internet in general, throughout the day, can be really beneficial in lowering stress.

How often do you unplug?  Do you feel it is time?  What are your goals for finding balance between the digital and the physical? I would love to hear them!

In Joy!

(photo credit Lucky I. Ismael)

Today I had the great honour of experiencing a session with Wendy McDonnell at Compassionate Solutions.  I had contacted Wendy because I was finding myself, more often than not, reverting to modes of communication with little A that weren’t very helpful to either of us.  Yelling, ignoring, giving in to her every scream were just a few examples of how I felt I was failing in the great art of mothering.

My intention for our meeting was to create more compassionate and meaningful connection, even in the face of stress and exhaustion: two challenges most parents face on a regular basis.

Wendy specializes in non-violent communication, restorative justice and just happens to be a home-schooling mother of four.  I felt like her experience and expertise would be helpful in finding me solutions in my family.

I am so glad that I called her.

Our meeting was over tea and sliced peaches and we talked about my general child-rearing philosophy.  Simplicity Parenting, Unconditional Parenting and compassionate communication all came up.  She listened deeply and always recounted what she said she thought she was hearing from me, instead of making assumptions as to what she was actually hearing.

The basis for compassionate communication is to identify your needs and express them, and to try and understand the other person’s needs. This can be a really challenging task, especially when working with a person under the age of three, as I do everyday with little A.

While I usually am good at expressing my needs to little A, because she is so young, she doesn’t yet have the full cognitive ability to recognize the needs of others and act accordingly.  I was wondering: how could I find the balance of meeting both of our needs when one of us doesn’t yet understand fully her own needs or fully recognize mine.

Through our own compassionate communication Wendy was able to help me identify what my needs were in those moments where I wasn’t finding balance.  She took me through a guided meditation, where I was able, being fully present in my body, to feel how it felt when I was caring for the two of us in balance.  What a joyous feeling!

The meditation also helped me identify what it was that would help me in the situations where I wasn’t being that compassionate: the knowledge that I CAN DO IT!

It seems so obvious, but I was starting to doubt my ability to be in balance with my child.  After recognizing my need for more confidence in myself I came up with a solution to remind myself in times of need: a wall affirmation saying “I can do it”.

The entire flow of the conversation made me realize that compassionate communication finds solutions that benefit everyone.  It proceeds from the heart first and opens possibilities of true peace within each person in the conversation.  The conversation was very balanced, and the solutions were things that I came up with myself.  I felt very empowered to make the changes because I had found the solutions that would work for me.  Wendy helped me to identify these solutions. Rarely have I had conversations where I feel so truly received and empowered.

I am so excited to implement the suggestions that Wendy and I came up with today.  I know that, now that I have identified my unmet need, I will be able to meet it more often, and have a more meaningful relationship with little A.

Compassionate communication can create more depth to relationships and can bring about more meaningful dialogues, instead of arguments and screaming.

If you would like to set up your very own compassionate family counseling session with Wendy (which I highly recommend) you can visit her website: Compassionate Solutions or visit her blog, where you can hear all of her radio shows, at Compassionate Solutions Blog.

If you would like more information about compassionate communication you can visit the NVC webpage to find sessions that are happening near you or pick up Nonviolent Communication.

As a side note: I will not be online at all tomorrow, so any comments/emails etc will not be returned until Tuesday.

In Joy!

(photo credit to anya f)

I’ve spent a lot of yesterday and today thinking about meaning and magic.  After having made that grand pledge yesterday, I was thinking that I need to find a lot more places in my life to find meaning.

A meaningful life is something most of us strive for. Many of us don’t even know where to look for meaning.  We look for meaning in our possessions and media choices, but often those don’t provide the deep fulfillment we are looking for.

How do we find meaning and magic outside of the consumerist culture that most of us have been brought into? I look to the everyday, to the simple things around me, to the invisibles and to the people I love.  Because we each have different backgrounds, values and lifestyles I have compiled a list of what I look to in my life.  I hope this will help you to find the places that hold meaning in yours.

15 places that I find meaning and magic in my life are:

1. The eyes of my dear child, Little A.

If you have a child, then you probably know what I’m talking about.  However, how many of us actually spend the real quality time with our children, to gaze into their eyes and feel the meaningful connection there?  Little A and I spend at least one moment everyday cuddling and gazing into each other’s eyes.  Even if it is only for 15 seconds, that reconnection gives meaning to the life I am living and dusts a glitter of magic all over the rest of my day.

2. The rest of my family.

While my mother and I might not have a perfect relationship, or my brother and I might not speak very often, I find the connection that I have with them to be really important.  Watching my daughter walk around the property I grew up on, hand in hand with my father, was one of the most magical things I’ve ever experienced.  It touched a place inside me like an ancient tree, watching the generations connect through time and space.

3. Ritual.

Little A and I just made an altar for water.  There has been so much happening to the waters of our Earth lately: oil spills, acidification of oceans and the tar sands pollution.  I wanted to find a way to give thanks for the water that provides us with life on Earth.  So, every morning, little A and I fill a tea pot with water, give prayers to it and pour it in a cup while we intentionalize clean and healthy and abundant waters for all beings on this planet.  The next morning we take this water and pour it into our plants.  This little ceremony creates a ritual around water and brings more meaning to every glass that we drink.

4. Writing.

Writing is a passion for me.  Whether it is writing these blog posts or a piece for the local poetry slam (happening tonight!!!) I find that expressing myself through the word brings more meaning to my life.  It is also magical to see the words appear before my eyes.  Where there was no metaphor before I see new ways of looking at life spring up in front of my eyes.  It is quite glorious.

5. Friends.

I love my friends.  They bring so much magic to my life, whether through new adventures or just simple experiences.  I find the connections I maintain over time bring perspective and help me find meaning in certain situations that I felt confused about.

6. Strangers.

One thing that is so magical about this Universe is the ability to receive messages through any source, if you’re just listening.  Sometimes, I find my greatest lessons come through strangers as I have no previous judgment or bias towards them.  For example, yesterday I was having a cafe date with myself (one a week in the budget), and I saw a pregnant woman.  I commented on how beautiful her belly was and we started talking.  By the end of the conversation she came to a point where she said “This is the truth that I see:” and spoke some very insightful and true things about my life.  It reminds me that there is meaning everywhere.

7. The cycle of death and rebirth.

I don’t know what you believe, and whatever that is, I honour it. For me, however, I believe that, on this planet, things die and things are reborn.  A bird dies and it’s body turns into soil which grows a tree, thus the bird then becomes a tree.  How amazing is that? Answer: pretty frickin’ amazing!

8. Cleaning.

Yes, I truly do find this to be meaningful. Magical? Not yet.  Call me a domesticated woman if you must, but I really find that having a clean home helps me in SO many ways.  It is meaningful work because when I am not in a clean house I feel flustered and distracted.  Now, my home is by no means spotless, but it is constantly engaged in the process of cleaning.  Doing a dish, to me, is like meditation.  I’ll talk about that more in the next couple of weeks.

9. Plants.

OK, plants are magical.  I mean, they take sunlight and water and live off that! And then, are the basic building blocks for most other creatures on Earth.  AND, provide medicine and shelter.

10. My garden.

I love gardening.  I find that the time I spend connecting with my plants’ growth is so meaningful. It helps me have a better understanding of one of the funnest activities that I engage in everyday: eating.  Watching something grow from a tiny seed into a giant sunflower is miraculous.

11. Shared experience.

When I garden, for example, I find a lot of meaning.  When I garden with little A, or a friend or loved one, I find it to be doubly meaningful and magical.  The shared experience of Life is so fulfilling.  Our lives can be so isolating and the shared experience can help us connect past it.  I think that is why blogging is so popular.

12.  Imagination.

I love watching little A play.  She loves balloons pretty much more than most things.  I think my breasts are the exception.  We don’t buy her balloons that often, trying to practice, as much as possible, a simple life. So, the other day, she spent her time blowing up imaginary balloons until the whole bed was full of them.  The smile on her face at that moment was so incredible.  Our imaginations are one of the most magical tools that we have at our disposal, literally allowing us to create anything in our minds, and bring it to fruition if we choose.

13. Love.

I love being in Love.  Most of my friends will tell you I am in love with them, because I am.  If there is a meaning to life, for me, it’s Love.  Love is why I get up in the morning.  It’s why I stayed up all night for years for my daughter.  It’s why I will do what I need to do in order to be with her.  It’s what puts a smile on my face when nothing else can.  I honestly don’t know of anything more magical and meaningful than this amazing force of existence.

14.  Activism

I call it activism, but it’s not your stereotypical form of protest, sign waving and general dissent.  No, I prefer my activism to be more focused on things that I can do to change myself.  My food choices, my lifestyle, the ways that I communicate.  I find meaning it in to know that I am working for a better world, even if it is just the small world around me.

15. Creative expression.

For me, this is sometimes dance.  Sometimes it is embroidery.  Sometimes sewing, cooking, hairstyle, drawing, singing… whatever it happens to be at the time to just express myself in a creative manner.  It reminds me I am more than just a series of repeated tasks (cooking, cleaning, playing, cooking, cleaning, playing, sleeping, cooking…..) but a diverse and boundless being.

There are so many places we can find meaning and magic in our everyday lives.  This is just my list which I am sure will be added to continuously.  Where do you find the most meaning and magic in your lives?

The last couple of weeks have been very challenging.  It is good to recognize the challenge as a way to growth.  However, I was losing focus, patience and faith along the way, getting caught up in the challenge of it all, instead of the lessons.

(photo credit to tjroberts79 on flickr)

I decided that I needed to create a pledge to myself, to this blog and to my family.   So, I started looking for a pledge that would suit me.  I kept coming back to this blog.

Everyday Infinity has really got inside my being and I see it as a way to express myself and connect with others who are on the same path.  After birth, I have been going through the process of rediscovering my Truth and where I find meaning and magic.  This blog is helping me do that and inspiring me everyday to truly live it more and more.

The tagline: meaning and magic in the mundane was chosen very consciously.  And I’ve decided that this will be my pledge.

So, for all to hear “I will live everyday with meaning and magic”.

What does this pledge mean to me?

It means working through the fears.

It means honouring myself.

It means cooking and cleaning with Love.

It means bringing more to little A’s experience, through opening doors that I thought I’d shut for good.

It means walking through the unknown.

And lastly, it means dropping the excuses.

I’ve had so many excuses for getting caught up in the complaints, the challenges, the isolation.  I know that my life is meaningful and I’ve worked hard to get to where I am at now.

This blog is an inspiration point, a way to continue to move forward into a life of wonder.  All of you are inspirations to me as well. Your support and readership makes me delighted and allows me to feel comfortable really expressing who I am.

Thank you.

I would like to invite you all to take the pledge with me.  Define what it means to you.  Share your experience.

In keeping with the pledge, I am going to be finding more resources to keep me inspired.

Every Friday, starting next week, is going to be Meaningful and Magical Discoveries: a summation of all the articles, quotes and discoveries I’ve made that have helped me to find more meaning and magic in my life over the week.   If there is something you find, please send it to me amelia (at) everydayinfinity (dot) com so that I can add it, if appropriate.

I look forward to walking this path with you!

In:joy!

credit to aliaspizzaman on flickr

Today is the 11th day that Little A has had chicken pox. Before you wonder how she is doing, she is fine. She has a very mild case and has probably had less than about 60 pox in total. However, she keeps getting two or three new ones every day.

So, for the last 11 days, little A and I have been isolating ourselves from the rest of the world, in hopes that we will not infect any unsuspecting people. I wouldn’t want that on my consciousness.

Now, this might not seem like such a big thing until you really think about it. One momma and a 2.75 yr old child, stuck in a two bedroom apartment in the middle of summer.

We’ve been very creative: painting, learning how to make balloon animals, drawing, singing on the guitar, learning how to bike ride in the back parking lot, spending time in the garden, cooking lots, making play dough… the list goes on and on and on. We’ve taken walks, but I feel strange trying to avoid every person we meet on the street, especially when we usually try to be as neighbourly as possible. We’ve gone to parks that are usually pretty quiet, but they always seem to have one child playing in them when we get there.

There comes a point when just about every child needs to just run about outside for a few hours, unfettered. We haven’t had that for 11 days. Add to that normal family stresses and you get a walking time-bomb of emotions, unexpressed energy and boredom inspired pokes at mama.

Some days are easier than others. These are not the easiest days.

And I’m working to remember that it’s OK. We’re all human. There is no “ideal good mother” out there who never yells, who never loses patience, who always does the “right thing”. Nope. Does not exist. Her myth, though, haunts me. I wonder if, when I’m sitting in my living room listening to my child screaming, if she’s going to walk in and reprimand me, tell me that I should be stronger, or better or or or….

The “good mother” is the voice in my head. We all have these voices. The ones that say we can do better, we’re not good enough blah blah blah. There is use to these voices. Sometimes they are motivation to more towards better things. I’ve had a lot of times where the constant barrage of “you can do better than this” had motivated to actually DO BETTER.

However, sometimes, when we’ve reached our emotional and physical limits, as often happens in parenthood, it is good to just say “be quiet” to those voices. To ask for some gentleness. On the easy days, those voices can be helpful, but on the hardest ones, what we all need to remember is to be gentle with ourselves.

Today, wondering how I would ever be able to take time to myself, I vowed to, at least, be gentle with myself all day. If I can’t nurture myself in the ways that I need, I can at least stop beating myself up about things.

For example, as I’m writing this, it has started to torrentially downpour (YAY!). My laundry is out and no, I didn’t get around to taking it in before it started raining. I could get upset at myself, but, as little A says “It’s OK mama.” And it really is.

There are many ways you can be gentle with yourself.

1. Don’t beat yourself up about little things.
Let them go. If you need to say something like “it’s OK” or “I forgive myself”.

2. Allow yourself to cry, or be upset. That’s an OK thing to do, and will actually make you feel better.
When I express my emotions, not only do I feel more relaxed and present, but I can actually let them go.

3. Cross off all the non-necessary things on your to-do list.
Sure, we’d love to get everything done on that to-do list. But some days, we need to just realize that we showed up, we’re doing our best and maybe we’re not going to be able to clean out the closet until tomorrow. Tomorrow’s another day, and it will probably be better.

4. Spend more time cuddling.
On the hard days with my little one, I try to spend more time cuddling. It reminds me that we’re connected. We share love, get to relax and be calm, for at least a short time.

5. Breathe.
Breathing not only is calming, it is something you can do during any activity. Consciously breathing can calm you, help you find clarity and bring you to a place of presence where you can be more OK with where you are at.

And in the end of it all remember:

Tomorrow is another day. It can only get better from here.

photo credit to maistora on flickr

The Simple Living movement is gaining steam in North America.  This blog is going to house one small corner of that movement, as I will be talking about it.  We have been living simply for several years now, and find it to be incredibly satisfying.

Simple living is generally defined by living completely within one’s means and consuming only what is necessary (and no, that 32nd pair of shoes, though quite beautiful, is not necessary).

But why would anyone want to do this?  After all having the next coolest thing, a super classy wardrobe, going out to dinner and all those other things are super fun!

But voluntary simplicity brings a different kind of satisfaction.  These are my top three reasons I choose simplicity.

1. I need less money so I need to work less.

And really, how awesome is that?  We have no car.  We live in a two-bedroom apartment.  We eat primarily whole, non-processed foods.  We don’t buy much stuff.  Our monthly expenses are really minimal compared to most people.  And, this allows me to spend most of my time with my little one, which is the most meaningful thing in my life right now.

2. There is less stuff to clean up.

This, perhaps, is my favourite part.  Though I strive to find some enjoyment in cleaning, I certainly would like to do less of it.  I like to, every month, go through everything in the house and see what has come in (because things, mysteriously enough, inevitably do) and then decide what needs to leave.  Little A has two shelves on a small bookshelf of toys and that is all.  We work to remove something for everything that comes in.  It doesn’t always work that way, but if there’s more toys than can fit on the shelf, we go through, together and decide what leaves.  This is the way we work for just about every area in our house.

If we have less stuff, then it takes less time to clean.  I spend about 1/2 hour everyday doing “tidying up” because there really never gets to be too much of a mess, as we have so little things to mess about with.

3. My mind feels clearer.

When I was living in a three-bedroom house I was always thinking about what rooms had to be cleaned, where things could go and finding that clutter was piling up everywhere.  Every thing that we have in our homes takes up a tiny part of our attention.  So, the more things we have, the more things take up our attention, until we can’t really relax in our own homes.

Before I had a child I was, literally, living out of a backpack.  It was a glorious sense of freedom, knowing that everything I needed in the world resided in a backpack that weighed less than 30 lbs.  Then, one day, I had a baby.  And I felt more inclined towards not traveling, as tends to happen to most people.  I was surprised at how much stuff shows up in your life when you live in one place.  I vowed that I would not end up like my mother, with two full houses of stuff.  I wanted a clear feeling for both Little A and I.

I find the effect simplicity has on Little A amazing.  She is a calm child.  She is a focused child.  She is a simple child.  I was recently reading the book Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne and what he had to say was so resonant.  Basically, his premise is that many children get overwhelmed by the amount of clutter, the over-scheduling of activities and this can create or exacerbate mental disorders such as ADD and ADHD.  By keeping our lives simple, I feel I am offering more imagination and less stress to little A’s life.  Which makes me feel good.

There is a lot of information right now about living the simple life.  Lots of people are finding satisfaction in simple and minimal lifestyles.  And, lots of people are writing about it.

Here are a couple of my favourite blogs on the subject:

Zen Habits I think that Leo Babauta was maybe one of the first people in the blogosphere to popularize this lifestyle.  Kudos! to Leo for all his great work.

Simple Mom Tsh Oxenrider takes the principles of simplicity and applies them beautifully to the task of family and home management.  She has great ideas, lovely children and a wonderful team of guest writers.  One day, I hope to see my name on her website.

Rowdy Kittens Tammy makes me smile.  I think if I knew Tammy in real life, which I don’t, we would be friends.  One of the most inspiring things that she documents is her movement to car-free living.  That’s a pretty bit step and I’m glad that Tammy is spreading the love.

Far Beyond the Stars Evert Bogue is really honest.  He is reaching, truly, far beyond the stars and finding freedom, satisfaction and helping others come to it too.  I really admire his honesty, practicality and style.

Simple Rabbit Society Chloe Adeline is seriously awesome.  And her posts are so cute.  With lots of rabbits.  What could better? Oh, this could: her content is great too.

There are many more, and I would love if you shared any of your favourites with me too!

There are also many resources about living the simple life.  However, I will just point you in one direction because someone has already made a really great compilation of ideas and actions to move towards a simple or minimalist lifestyle.  Stay tuned here as well, as I will be exploring more in depth of how I work to exemplify simple living in my life.

Do you live a simple life?  Are you thinking of it? Let me know where you are at!

In:joy